Sigh

My apartment is kind of hectic right now with stuff everywhere. I think it'll be like that for a while. Last week was so bad. I'd been sleep deprived (which I'm still not caught up with). I woke up late 3 days in a row! Honestly who does that! I missed my physics quiz but thankfully lowest score is dropped. This has happened every single quarter with Physics. I'm so dumb. Even though I keep telling myself it'll be okay and I'll try really hard on the final, I still can't get over it.

I did better on my abnormal psych midterm though so that was good. Michelle and Dorothy moved in. It was so much fun...living! with Michelle. It feels weird saying that lol. Dinner Friday night was nice. Yay for surprises. Went to downtown mall with Michelle on sat cuz needed to return some stuff and then she went home. I got on the bus to come back to Davis. After about a minute of me sitting down on the bus, an older guy came and sat next to me..like really close. I found it really weird since there were other seats empty and he was sitting with his friends in the back of the bus. I got really scared because he kept looking at me and was close to me. I had my ipod on so I acted like I couldn't hear him. I'm pretty sure he didn't say anything to me. I just felt really uncomfortable the entire time. I kept hoping he would get off of the bus soon but he didn't. I starting thinking of all these what ifs in my head. Like what if he gets off at the same stop as I do and follows me to my apartment? I wasn't brave enough to tell him to move or move myself. I kept looking at other people and thinking how they have no idea how uncomfortable I felt.

Fortunately nothing happened and he got off at the MU stop. I felt so relieved but still felt scared until I got home. I was so scared that I wasn't ready to get on a yolobus again to go to the orientation for the medical outreach even I'm going to volunteer for..

I always thought I was brave enough for something like this. I felt so weak when I was sitting in the bus. I feel like it's not a big deal but I just felt so scared. I think I felt helpless since I didn't have my phone with me. I felt like if anything happened, no one would hear me or help me..I just kept getting negative thoughts in my head. Yea not going on a yolobus by myself again for a long time. :[

Hmm

Arizona was a lot of fun!! I miss it so much. I felt like I was at my own house. I felt so comfortable with Hannah's family and of course with Hannah. I am SO comfortable around her. She just gets me and I love it.

School is not fun. I almost regret taking classes. I hate physics so much but abnormal psych is so interesting. Makes me want to minor in psych but I'm sure not all of the psych classes are as interesting so I don't know about that.

But yea waking up early for class is so tiring. I think I'm just not getting enough sleep and on top of that I'm feeling really stressed out. There's just so many thoughts in my head and I can't do anything about them. I hate it when friends are feeling down. I want to make them feel better but I suck at it.

Thinking about the future is so scary. I want everything to just work out but of course that's not possible. I want to stay in school longer and not graduate this year but I don't know what to tell my parents..

Just really confused about everything right now. I felt so restless today. I felt like something was wrong but the entire day I couldn't figure out what was actually wrong with me. It's the weirdest feeling. Like I was stressing about things that I shouldn't even be stressing about..I'm a weirdo -__-

Friday

I'm going back home today. It'll be nice :] Apparently we're going to Bass Lake tomorrow with Harman and her family yay. And then shopping with mom because I really need jeans.


6 days left!!

Sunday

11 days left!



I did laundry and cleaned my room a little bit today. Julie & Julia last night was so good! I totally recommend it :]

I had frozen yogurt last night after such a long time! It was so good :] Talking to Michelle and Dorothy last night was so nice. <3

13 days until I see Hannah!!

First week

This week was long and tiring. Classes from either 8-2 or 9:30-2 is getting to me. But I'm keeping up with stuff..kind of. I bought a Kaplan MCAT prep book to start studying. I want to start early but I'm so scared. All I want right now is to be brave and study hard for MCAT's and classes and apply for Med schools. I have to believe in myself! I'm sad this is the last year. I really don't know what's going to happen to me when I'm back home and won't be able to see friends that often :[



Just hate doing this. First it was leaving all my friends in India and then High School and now college :[




It felt so nice to be taken care of and I miss that so much. There isn't a Neena Maami here to make me look pretty or to keep asking me if I'm hungry. No Bali Maama to call me "puttar." I love my family! I want to go back now!



Who knows when I'll be able to go back again..hopefully in the next couple years..

I miss home and India so much!

More traveling

Wednesday was my brother's birthday. He's a big boy now and I mean that literally also haha. For his birthday we went Pismo Beach on Tuesday and then Universal Studios in Hollywood on Wednesday. Pismo was so much fun. It was my real beach experience. The weather was amazing especially since it was super hot in Fresno that day. I really want to go back again :]

We stayed at a hotel in Calabasas that night and then went to Universal Studios the next morning. I've been there before and I really didn't like it that much there and it was no different this time. We spent basically the entire day there. Ride after ride. Everything made to scare you. I did like the Simpsons ride though. We got back pretty late that night. Also another family went with us so that was a lot of fun. Harman and I get along really well.

I passed by Santa Barbara where Ben lives and I couldn't even visit him. Apparently he lives 5 minutes away from the freeway. So sad!